How to introduce yourself (it's different in writing than when face-to-face)
When we introduce ourselves in person, we start by saying “Hello” and stating our name, just like Inigo:
Why do we state our name right away? Most people don’t remember it. Their brains don’t know whether your name is important until they know whether they like you or care about what you have to say.
But we state our name because the person we are talking to needs to know what to *call* us–the body standing in front of them. Our names are how we humans distinguish one body from another body. It’s a weird concept.
Even though the standard is to say our name first when introducing ourselves in person, most people don’t remember it. They’ll remember something we said or talked about. They might go, “Oh, I met this really cool person who had the same opinion as me on returning shopping carts at the grocery store!” And the next time they see you, they’ll get your name and remember it because–shopping carts!
Your name is a label for your body. And since the body is present in in-person intros, we want the name.
Introductions in writing are different.
Your body isn’t there.
And when the body isn’t there, people are even *less* likely to care about your name. They do not need to know what you are called. That information is not just unimportant, it’s irrelevant.
The reader doesn’t need your name to get your message. The purpose of your message becomes the most important thing.
When you are writing to someone you don’t know, they don’t need to know your name. They need to know why they should give you their attention.
In person, you are standing before them. They “have” to give you their attention (not really, but…) because it would be rude to just turn their back on you and walk away. I’m not saying that doesn’t happen, just that it is a breach of the social contract when it does. If you start talking to someone and they literally turn around and walk away from you? Well, you two are highly unlikely to form a good relationship.
But if I open an email and stop reading it because I don’t care? The writer will never really know. They might write several follow ups, but I can keep ignoring them because…they aren’t there.
Yes, it’s rude to ignore emails, but not in the same way that it’s rude to ignore someone speaking to you directly in person.
To prevent readers from ignoring your emails, you need to start the email with what’s relevant to the reader. They don’t have your body in front of them literally preventing them from moving forward without going around you. They can simply delete the email and pretend they never got it (“it must have gone to spam” lol).
And research shows that the first line of an email (the full line of text after the greeting) is the only line of the message that is most likely to get read. So if you are starting that line with stuff about you (“My name is…”) then you are showing the reader that you are more interested in yourself than you are in them. I realize that’s not necessarily *true*, but that’s what it looks like to the reader.
Think about it this way: your email doesn’t arrive in their inbox anonymously. Before they even open your email, they see your name. They may not know who you are, but your name is already there. And if it’s not your actual name, then it’s a name proxy, something that stands in for what the reader can think of as the writer.
Also, an email has a standard place for your name to appear: the signature block at the end. We all know that your name is there. We can look for it if we want to to find out who you are, what your role is, who you work for, and how to get in touch with you.
Your name is already on the email, so you don’t need to say it at the start of the email.
In writing, the most important thing is to establish a connection with the reader so they will understand why they should give you their attention.
That’s why mutual connections work so well. If you say “So-and-so suggested I get in touch with you”, that can be a good start because if they know and like “so-and-so”, then they are already inclined to give you–the new person who knows the old person–their attention.
Another method can be to ask a question—which immediately puts you in conversation with the reader–or to state the goal or purpose of your message, especially if it’s something you know or suspect the reader is interested in, looking for, or already cares about.
Essentially, introductions in person include your name. Introductions in writing do not (because your name is already available in other locations).
IN-PERSON INTRO:
An in-person introduction is short, informative, and memorable
Greeting and name
Context–what do you do, how do you know the person, why are you at the event, etc
Memorable bit–whether it’s a joke, a rhyme/alliteration, snark, or a one-sentence story, you want the last thing you say to be easy for the other person to remember.
For example, we do introductions at our local 1 Million Cups. Here’s mine:
Hi, I’m Dr. Jenny Morse and my company, Appendance, Inc, provides corporate training in business writing, which means I basically teach people how to write good emails for work.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Jenny Morse and my company, Appendance, Inc” = #1
“provides corporate training in business writing” = #2
“which means I basically teach people how to write good emails at work” = #3–always gets a little chuckle and is easier to understand than all the -ing words in the “official” description
WRITTEN INTRO:
A written introduction is equally short and informative, though generally less about wit/humor than about purpose. The other person needs to know why they should care about what you have to say and what you want from them.
Greeting
Context–what do you do, how do you know the person, why would they want to know you
Purpose–what is your question, information, goal and why should the other person care
For example, if I were writing to a new contact as I sometimes do on LinkedIn, I might write something like this:
Hi [Name], [Person we both know] mentioned you in a recent conversation about [writing with AI]! Would love to hear more about what you are doing in that space. As a corporate trainer in business writing, I’m interested in learning more about [how AI tools can support the writing we do at work as well as how humans can better leverage AI for writing]. Would love to connect with you here!
Notice that I do state what I do, but I *don’t* state my name–because it’s already on the message.
The real key to a good introduction isn’t thinking about what information you are going to share. It’s thinking about how you connect and become memorable to the other person. What do you want them to know about you? What do you want them to remember and tell other people about you? How do you want them to think of you as useful or engaging relevant to the things that they are interested in? The more you consider the other person, the more likely that initial introduction will turn into a stronger business relationship.
And while your name is useful, it is the least memorable thing for most people and irrelevant when writing an introduction, in most cases.