When should you write an email and when should you schedule a meeting
Meeting?
or Email?
Writing isn’t good for everything. I’m a writer. I know.
We have so many different forms of communication now: not just email, phone, text, and in person. Those may be the 4 basic ones, but that doesn’t include all the other chat messages on every app everywhere. I communicate with my friends in my writers group through text, email, and the Meetup chat, as well as several google docs that I recently set up that allow for commenting.
I work with clients through email, phone, text, and LinkedIn messages, as well as my online course platform which has its own email, chat, discussion threads and other functions.
Even my friends communicate with me through phone, email, text messages, and voice messages on regular text and Whatsapp, so there’s a million different methods for them to get in touch with me. Oh, and I forget Instagram both forwarding things and messaging (and Facebook, etc).
Once upon a time, your choices were to send a letter or talk to them in person. Sometimes I long for those times when communication was simpler because it was so hard.
Now it’s too easy.
People know that you have your phone on you and so you are reachable. Maybe you can’t answer a call (few of us enjoy answering calls now–I accidentally answered one today from my insurance company. I was texting when they called, so I clicked instead of swiping and there I was on the phone with an agent who was asking me if I’ve enjoyed their services over the last 10 years–I haven’t had to file a claim, so yeah, I guess it’s been a great required waste of money).
Maybe you don’t check your email. Although, if I go more than two hours without checking it, my inbox gets overrun with messages. I try to keep my inbox at one page (50 messages) that I absolutely need to do something about, but sometimes it just explodes out of control! And then I go in to just delete stuff and leave everything that I actually need to look at unread. For days.
Maybe you don’t get in-app notifications from LinkedIn and Insta and Facebook (oh god, I didn’t even think about Facebook Messenger!). I have all my notifications turned off on those apps, so I don’t know if you wrote to me until I open the app. I just can’t stand all those red dots begging for my attention.
The best way to get in touch with me? Find me in person. I love to talk to the person directly in front of me. I get all the information–about your attitude and your attention and your interest–from your non verbals–the things you aren’t saying out loud.
Not everyone feels that way. I do love to write more than I love to talk on the phone or even use voice messaging. I just don’t find people’s voices to convey enough information. Their attention could be elsewhere. Their emotions could be faked.
If I had to rank communication methods, my preferences would go like this:
In person–I can see you and hear you, which gives me the most information about you; in addition to your words.
Text–If I can’t see you, then I don’t want to bother with your nonverbals at all. Just get me the info and I’ll respond. With a heart or a smiley face so that you feel ok about all those words.
In app messages–I like how sometimes just an emoji is sufficient or an exclamation. Today, I responded to 3 friends on 2 different platforms with “Nice!” and that’s it; that’s enough.
Voice messages–People who like these tend to be people who process out loud. They appreciate the ability to talk (ramble) rather than craft (write). Sometimes I get messages that are 12 minutes long. I listen to the whole thing (admittedly sometimes on 2x or even 3x speed) and I’ll think “That could have been a text; they just needed to work out all the possibilities before committing to an answer or a plan”. And I can’t ramble. I don’t know how. So this always feels imbalanced to me. I have to listen to your 12 minute talk, but I can hardly come up with a solid 3 minute response?!?!
Phone call–Since we can’t see each other, we can both be doing other things even though we’re pretending that the main thing we are doing is talking to each other right now.
But I recognize that everyone’s preferences are different.
Here’s the thing: we can all have different methods that we like and don’t like for all kinds of reasons.
But we can also look at the facts about how the different communication channels work and consider what they are good for (and what they aren’t).
For example, non-verbal elements of communication vary among the channels, which changes the way we experience the words.
An email has few non-verbal elements since it doesn’t have a voice or a body. You can’t see how the other person feels as they tell you whatever they have to say.
Text gets to use emojis, which help communicate non-verbally by using facial expressions and other short forms for things that we usually express rather than say in words.
Phone calls prioritize the voice, which is a sophisticated non-verbal communication tool.
In-person allows us to see and feel (energetically) the other people’s full non-verbal expression: facial expressions, posture, gestures, and hear their voice or their silence.
As a result, writing is good for some things and not for others. Here’s a list:
What writing is good for:
Communicating with a group easily–Since writing is asynchronous (you write it on your time and others read it on their time), you can easily send the same information to lots of people without having to coordinate schedules or find them in real space-time.
Sending links or attachments–Written messages allow us to transfer real objects through the internet. It’s like Wonkavision!
Documentation–Having an organized and searchable record of clients, projects, tasks completed and tasks in progress, etc.
But, as a reminder, documentation can always happen after the phone call or meeting. You can follow up with the record using the phrase “As we discussed” (which is slightly gentler than “Per our conversation”--I recommend avoiding “per” as it is Latin for “as”) to indicate that the written message summarizes a spoken conversation.
What writing is not good for:
Communicating about multiple clients, projects, tasks for different people, or otherwise complex messages–Most people don’t read the entire message; they skim. Because they aren’t reading carefully, writing works best for one (up to 3 maximum) item at a time.
Expressing negative information–Writing is already negative because it doesn’t have a physical body or a voice, so it often “feels mean”. Even neutral content can get misinterpreted by the reader as annoyed, angry, or upset. Writing at work should be emotionally neutral and the language itself should try to remain as positive as possible.
Immediate responses–Again, since writing is asynchronous, everyone is accessing written messages at different times. And not everyone’s main job requires them to be in front of a computer throughout the day. Sure, you can send a text (this expresses the desire for an immediate response, though that is also not always possible), but you get the most immediate response when you use synchronous methods of communication like a phone call or a meeting (whether remote or in person).
When it comes down to it, a meeting provides an opportunity to interact with people in real time, which means that you get to see their face and hear their voice. In-person meetings give us the full posture of the person and the ability to see them in the context of the environment. But even remote meetings where we can’t see their whole being and we don’t know what’s around their computer screen, give us the opportunity to interact and connect in real time.
Sometimes, that connection is the most important thing!
That interpersonal connection is especially important when topics are particularly emotional–what do we do about this bad client that we want to fire?--or complicated–let’s rebuild our internal communication processes and workflows so we know who is responsible for doing what and telling whom about it.
Writing is good for telling a lot of people the same information at the same time and having it in writing.
Writing is not good for connection.
Meetings are not good for ensuring that large groups of people have the same information and will be able to refer to it later.
Meeting or Email?
When we have to make a choice between an email and a meeting, we have to consider these things:
How complicated is your message?
Not at all = Email Very = Meeting Sorta = Go to the next question
How sensitive is your topic?
Not at all = Email Very = Meeting Sorta = Go to the next question
Do you want or need feedback in real time?
No/Not necessary = Email Yes = Meeting Interesting = Go to the next question
How many people do you need to communicate with at once?
Over 100 = Email 1-10 = Meeting 10-100 = Go to the next question
Do you need to have a written record?
Yes = Email No = A meeting It would be helpful = Maybe a meeting
then an email to follow up
Remember, we have so many ways of communicating and so many individual preferences around our communication styles that no single method will work for every person all the time. But, these questions can help you figure out what emails and meetings are good for (yes, they do both have clear purpose) so that you can determine the best channel for your content and audience!
And as I say above: You can always have a meeting first and follow up with an email!